Shop Mobile More Submit  Join Login
A warm, lilting melody wafted through the nightclub, nimble fingers dancing over crisp black and white keys as the song of the grand piano drifted down from the stage, filtering between the irregularly spaced tables to fill every niche and recess of the dimly lit room. The lone figure in the spotlight moved gently with the music, her long chestnut hair billowing down her back in loose waves and her wine red dress fanning out around her knees as she sat on the worn leather stool. It was not a complex song she played, with no difficult notes or intricate rhythms, but there was something about it that was so enthralling, so entrancing, as if each sound touched you, clung to you, whispered to you.

As the tune swelled, as the notes danced, and as music came alive beneath her fingers, the pianist began to remember.



She met him at a cheap, backwater club on a cool autumn evening while playing yet another of those low paid unambitious jobs that she hated but needed to make ends meet. While lingering together before and between performances he had mentioned that he had studied cello in France, and confided that he hated playing these gigs as much as she. Before they knew it a little small talk turned into enchanting conversation, which turned into an invitation to dinner.

The courting that had begun awkwardly in that dark corridor of the small backstage area continued. At first it was slow and sporadic, stuttered by difficulties of work and money, but despite the troubles it bloomed. From a strong passion their connection formed, their relationship transcending the coldness of a small yet barely afforded apartment and the bleakness of a life forever impoverished.

Then the idea of a duet was pitched, and suddenly they were no longer two starving musicians each struggling to make a living for themselves. Now, they did it together. A double act, a two part performance, working together, coping together, surviving together. For the first time in her life she wasn't just a child from a broken family trying to leave behind her bleak origins. No longer did she have to struggle alone in a desperate attempt to make something, anything of herself. Now, she had someone there for her, someone to care for her, and someone to love her.

When he came to her with the song she was surprised to say the least; he'd never composed before or told her that he had an interest in composing. But as she took up the manuscript, as her hands danced over the keys in time with the rich earthy tones of the cello, as the song was heard for the first time, she was amazed. And by the time the majestic melody faded and the song came to an end, she was close to tears.

          "It's so beautiful."

          "I wrote it for you."

          "But why is it so sad?"

          A pause, then, "There's something I have to tell you."

The next months were an agonising blur of waiting rooms, doctor's offices, and hospital beds. Leukaemia, they were told, and less than a year to live. But it couldn't be true, it wasn't fair, not when she had finally found someone to share her life. He tried to resist, to fight, but the cancer won in the end. She will never forget the smell of the stark white ward, the dull beep of the monitor, the last look he gave her before he slipped away into a coma from which he would never wake.

She was there three days later, lying beside him, her head resting on his chest, when she heard his breath stutter and his heart falter. She was there, listening, as his lungs gave one last shuddering heave before finally falling still.

Once again, she was alone.




The final notes of the song died away to be met with silence. The audience sat wordless, unmoving, captivated by the spell of the music. But then one clapped, another joined, and it was broken. Applause rang out from the club as the pianist stood and gave her bow.

"Thank you very much, that was the lovely Si Waters on the piano," the emcee said with a grin when the noise had died down. "Now Miss Waters, that was quite a change from your usual repertoire, is it your own composition?"

She shook her head. "No, I only arranged it. It was originally a duet."

"And you told us before that it was your first time performing it, yet you also said that it was an old song. Is there a story there?"

Si hesitated. For so long the grief had consumed her, for so long she had been unable to play that song, and incapable of talking about what she had lost.

          "Promise me something."

          "Anything."

          "Don't let this break you, otherwise the cancer will have claimed two victims. Move on, Si. I'll be your past, promise me you'll move on with your life, promise me you'll let it go."


There was a long silence, then, "He played the cello..."
Thanks to :iconxylo834: for her help with this.

Inspired by Song for Sienna by Brian Crain, a piano and cello duet: [link]

EDIT: This was selected to be published by the Eclectic Flash Literary Journal, [link]
Add a Comment:
 
:iconbraincrain:
BrainCrain Featured By Owner Oct 23, 2014  Professional Artist
Love it :)
Reply
:iconreggar:
reggar Featured By Owner Sep 25, 2012
It's beautiful. :)
Reply
:iconforestmeetwildfire:
forestmeetwildfire Featured By Owner Sep 14, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
aw, this is so beautiful and heartbreaking. you have a talent with prose writing - i really enjoyed this. the only thing that kind of bugged me a bit was that her lover wrote her a sad song about his death.. if it were me i would want to give her something happy to remember him by, instead of sad to remind her of his death. either way, wonderful piece of literature :clap:
Reply
:iconirrevocablefate:
IrrevocableFate Featured By Owner Aug 18, 2011   Writer
Hello! :hug: I've featured your piece here!



:heart: Stephany
Reply
:icondreamsarefairytales:
dreamsarefairytales Featured By Owner May 1, 2011
The way her song entertwines the flashback and the memories is just magical!!!
Your storywriting is as enchanting to me as Si's song to her public :D!!!
You have an amazing gift for this! I just don't think I can say anything bad about this piece, it's wonderful!
:huggle:
Reply
:iconkj-illustration:
KJ-Illustration Featured By Owner Apr 1, 2011  Professional Digital Artist
Hi :heart: Your beautiful piece has been featured in my March Feature: [link] :love: :hug:
Reply
:icontreo-legigeo:
Treo-LeGigeo Featured By Owner Apr 1, 2011   Writer
Wow, thank you very much.
Reply
:iconsepulchral-roses:
Sepulchral-Roses Featured By Owner Mar 14, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
Oh! And I forgot to mention!

You've been Linked. (the link I left you in the previous comment explains that)
Reply
:icontreo-legigeo:
Treo-LeGigeo Featured By Owner Mar 15, 2011   Writer
Wow, thanks. Glad you liked it.
Reply
:iconsepulchral-roses:
Sepulchral-Roses Featured By Owner Mar 15, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
Of course (:
Reply
:iconsepulchral-roses:
Sepulchral-Roses Featured By Owner Mar 14, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
I absolutely love this piece. The song is so beautiful, words can't describe. It's now on my iPod (:

I also wrote something similar to this (in tone and character, but yours is a lot more fleshed out - mine was a mind rambling rather than a full story). Mine's called La Pianista. I wrote it along with Claire de Lune, but this song is better. I'm glad you left a link, I'd never have heard it otherwise!
Reply
:iconnataroque:
nataroque Featured By Owner Mar 11, 2011  Hobbyist Photographer
wow,, i actually started crying.. this is great. going in my favorites for sure I love it.. will you write more?
Reply
:iconsolie-photo:
sOLie-photo Featured By Owner Mar 10, 2011
beautifully written, as enchanting as the song inside it :love:
Reply
:icon1walkingblind:
1Walkingblind Featured By Owner Mar 1, 2011
Though it's predictable I really enjoyed it as the piece was done really well!
Congratulations on your publication. :)
Reply
:iconcrimsonthrenody:
CrimsonThrenody Featured By Owner Feb 19, 2011
Beautiful story. I am a sucker for piano stories, and this was no exception. It draws you in, engages you with it's sad composition. Well done.
Reply
:iconfozzymillow:
Fozzymillow Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2011  Student General Artist
You, my friend, have serious talent.
Reply
:icontreo-legigeo:
Treo-LeGigeo Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2011   Writer
Thansk :-) Glad you liked it.
Reply
:iconartillarie:
Artillarie Featured By Owner Jan 27, 2011   Writer
GREAT piece! Here are my critiques:
--There are too many descriptors in the phrase:
"As the tune swelled, as the notes danced, and as music came alive beneath her fingers".
--The first sentence is too long. I would suggest breaking it up rather than taking anything out.
--"But then one clapped, another joined, and it was broken". Define what 'it' is. I know, and so does everyone else, that you meant the silence/the spell, but this part would flow better with an adjective.
Great work!
--"spell of the music". I feel like this is a cliche. The essence of this phrase is a great one, especially for this piece, but perhaps you could capture this essence with different words?
Reply
:icontreo-legigeo:
Treo-LeGigeo Featured By Owner Jan 27, 2011   Writer
Thank you very much! I'll look over your points, and glad you liked it :-)
Reply
:icontariencole:
TarienCole Featured By Owner Jan 25, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
Well told, and very beautiful story.

There's one line I'd pick at: "And you stated at the beginning that it was your first time performing it, yet you also told us it was an old song. Is there a story there?"-- This sounds too formal. It might work if everyone at the performance had the proverbial stick up the butt...but they applauded, so I don't see it.

Otherwise, this is a compelling story.
Reply
:icontreo-legigeo:
Treo-LeGigeo Featured By Owner Jan 25, 2011   Writer
Glad you like it :-)

And thanks for the tip, I'll rewrite that.
Reply
:icontariencole:
TarienCole Featured By Owner Jan 26, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
my pleasure :)
Reply
:icon04belgarion2k7:
04belgarion2k7 Featured By Owner Jan 13, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
Aww that is so beautiful and sad.

Love the way you've written it, it captivated me from the first line. I really like the way you've written the past and present to make them stand out.

Wonderful :clap:
Reply
:iconalyth3cat:
alyth3cat Featured By Owner Jan 13, 2011
.... wow... this gave me chills. I really like how you've ended the story with hope and of a person moving on from grief. It's uplifting, even if the story is tragic. :)
Reply
:iconmissweeble:
MissWeeble Featured By Owner Jan 13, 2011  Student General Artist
Beautiful! Absolutely beautiful! :clap: :la: :D
Reply
:iconuberchick:
uberchick Featured By Owner Jan 12, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
This was a really pretty, really well-written piece. I appreciate that you italicized the exposition, too; I hate reading a story and having to figure out where in its timeline I am. I do, however, have a couple things that I'd like to bring to your attention.

In the third italicized paragraph, near the end, the sentence beginning with "For the first time in her life..." This sentence drags on a bit more than the others, and has too many abrupt adjectives. In this sentence alone, we learn that she was alone as a child, grew up in a broken home, and is desperate to leave her past behind, whereas the other sentences tell us only one or two pieces of her backstory. If you could work those home-based details into a few sentences, the paragraph would feel much more balanced.

In the fifth and sixth italicized paragraphs, you contradict yourself, or seem to. At the end of the fifth one, you say, "...the last look he gave her before he slipped away into a coma from which he would never wake," implying that he died at that time. At the beginning of the next paragraph, though, you say, "...when she heard his breath stutter and his heart falter," implying that he died at this point in time instead. If these two details are meant to apply to the same moment in time, then you should probably put them more closely together.

Those are the major critiques I offer here; the rest is fine, in my opinion. 'Tis wonderfully written, and it ends on a very poignant note (pun partially intended).
Reply
:icontreo-legigeo:
Treo-LeGigeo Featured By Owner Jan 13, 2011   Writer
Thank you for the critique :-)

Hmmm, I'll rewrite that sentence, yeah.

I actually meant that first he slipped into a coma (as in, an actual coma) and then he died three days into that coma. I guess I'll make that clearer.

And glad you liked it!
Reply
:iconuberchick:
uberchick Featured By Owner Jan 13, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
You're quite welcome.
Reply
:iconrachulandafish:
rachulandafish Featured By Owner Jan 12, 2011  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
penist ;D
Reply
:iconxylo834:
xylo834 Featured By Owner Jan 12, 2011
Hahahahahaha oh rachel.
Reply
:iconrachulandafish:
rachulandafish Featured By Owner Jan 13, 2011  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I'm intelligent! herpaderpaderp!
Reply
:icontreo-legigeo:
Treo-LeGigeo Featured By Owner Jan 12, 2011   Writer
Is not. Grrrrrr.
Reply
:iconwitch-child-manga:
Witch-Child-manga Featured By Owner Jan 12, 2011
oh god that made me want to cry. Beautifully written!
Reply
Add a Comment:
 
×

:icontreo-legigeo: More from Treo-LeGigeo


Featured in Collections

Words of Wonder by eternal-proesia

Literature by shadowFletcher


More from DeviantArt



Details

Submitted on
January 12, 2011
File Size
5.0 KB
Link
Thumb

Stats

Views
887
Favourites
32 (who?)
Comments
33
×